so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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