So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
