Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You're like the curious george of whores
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
