i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
