I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
