perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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