i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
