he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
