actually, I'm a sock model
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
