Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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