like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
