So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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