Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
