So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He felt like a one man threesome
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
