Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
North Korea, Best Korea!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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