Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
