i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
