My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
