ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
