We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
