i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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