Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
