I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
