So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
