All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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