i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
