Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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