I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
