Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
