no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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