Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im holly from the hills drunk
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
