someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
