Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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