I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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