i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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