he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The ass gains better be worth it
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