it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
