we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
