I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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