She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
