It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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