i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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