Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
