well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
