So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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