I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
