I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
