we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
