she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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