I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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