did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
