I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
