I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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